By Ann Marie Buck
Reflect for a moment upon something unpleasant actually happening vs. the prospect of that action possibly happening.
Fear of the future is when we take the precious moment we have right now and deep six it to take up a worry about a future something that may never actually occur! Lose the beautiful moment we actually have to fear of a terrible future our mind has created.
Contrast practical planning for the future with the less practical fear of the future.
Practical planning is rooted in honesty, truth, and reality. It looks reality straight in the face and simply responds with whatever is called for. It is not rushed or harried but cool, calm, and collected. There may be a touch of fear but the certainty of doing the right thing is stronger.
The more destructive fear of the future is highly emotional, full of fantasy, and worst case scenarios. It instills fear, distress, and may prompt excessive emotion or behaviors. You may find you are treating yourself or loved ones poorly (fighting, self criticism, moodiness). It may activate addictions (food, alcohol, TV, shopping). It may give you a stomachache, headache or backache…pick your particular ache!
What to do?
The first step is awareness. Once you catch yourself, ask these questions:
- Is this distressing thing really happening or is it something I fear might happen?
- Does it prompt me to a path of clear rational action?
- Or, is it paralyzing me with fear or tossing me into irrational behavior?
- Is it just as possible other, less terrible things could happen?
If the thought is not bringing peace, see if you can close your eyes, take a slow and deep breath and let the distressing thought float away. If the distressing thought can be let go, how does that feel? How would life be if you were no longer able to even think that distressing thought?
It may take a while to retrain the mind to let go of some of our favorite scary stories but it can be done with a little, well for some of us, a lot of practice. So, take time to practice appreciation of the real present moment and see if the future is better left right where it is.
Brilliant analysis and advice on the topic… There’s also the infamous “Fear of the PAST” where a person might excessively run through in his/her mind, unpleasant events that might have occurred minutes, days, or even years in the past…
I have just started college again. I am going back to get a bachlors degree in Health Care Management. I do need some insights on how to stay awake, alert and energetic. I am 52-years-old and I am excited and at the some time terrified. If anyone can help PLEASE.
Thanks so so much,
Kathy
Kathy
You are in LUCK!!
Our next MSAA Life Coaching program explores MS on Campus. Whether you are just starting out or already attending college, join us for discussion and tips on coping with MS on Campus.
Discuss when and who to tell about your MS, if anyone. Explore issues around managing medication, roommate discussions, local resources, college campus resources, and leisure & campus mobility issues.
Join our toll-free telephone discussion group on the subject. Hear how others cope with MS on Campus and learn some helpful Life Coaching tips.
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