By Ann Marie Buck

This coaching guidance is frequently offered when working with clients with multiple sclerosis (MS). It can be very helpful for individuals who are newly diagnosed as well as those who are experiencing an increase in symptoms.

To get a better idea of how to “be your best friend,” let’s try a little experiment:

First, make a list of the characteristics you value in a really good friend. Your list might include things like supportive, encouraging, honest, caring, sensitive, and attentive.

Second, listen in on your “self talk.” Like a ticker tape scrolling across the bottom of the TV screen, we all have a stream of thoughts passing through our mind. Catch a thought and give it some scrutiny. Is it critical? Supportive? Patient? Kind?

Third, how do the thoughts you are hearing match with the list of characteristics you admire in a good friend? Would these be the words you would offer to a long time beloved friend struggling with a situation similar to yours?

So the task becomes, finding what contemporary spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle refers to as the compassionate observer. Notice what you are thinking; ask yourself, what is on my ticker tape of thoughts? If what you notice is harsh or critical, or judgmental, invite yourself to soften the thoughts, think of what you would say to your best friend in a situation like this one. Try saying those things to yourself! Sincerely invite some compassion, kindness, and understanding into the situation.

Yes you may still have a problem to solve or a task to complete, but you’ll be more successful approaching your task with greater energy, creativity, and composure.

Get where you are going or do what you are doing with you as your best friend right there beside you! ALWAYS!